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Second Guessing
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Second Guessing
November 28, 2017
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Family Family
Second Guessing
November 28, 2017
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Now let me just state from the outset; I am writing this 7.5 months pregnant with my second child. And whilst I have put some of things I write about into practice, I have no idea how well my three year old is going to respond to the new baby coming along. Oh the joys of attempting to predict children’s reactions to huge life changes…

The main thing I’ve witnessed is that no matter how much, or how little, prep you do before the new arrival makes an appearance, children will respond in their own unique way.
A lot of what I’ve ‘learnt’ about integrating child no.2 with child no.1 has come from friends who’ve already crossed this life hurdle. One friend’s son asked, with complete innocence, when they were going to return the baby and get a hamster instead. Another’s daughter was so fiercely protective of her new baby brother that for the first few weeks would scream when anyone went near him.

So far my daughter has only expressed positive emotions. It’s very much her baby. Apparently it’s going to sleep in her room, go to school with her everyday and she’s going to take the baby to the park all by herself. Leaving me to put my feet up. And people say having children is difficult?!

However, of course the reality of the baby actually being here and me not being able to give her my complete undivided attention could (and probably will) change all of this. That is why we have done a few things, which I believe have got her slightly prepped for the upheaval that’s about to happen
to her world of one.

Bedroom Politics

The baby will go into what was previously Tilly’s bedroom and Tilly has moved into her new ‘big girl’s bedroom’. We implemented this transition as soon as we started trying to get pregnant. And I would highly recommend doing it as early as you can. Tilly is now settled into her new bedroom and we already refer to the nursery as the baby’s room. She doesn’t feel like she’s been kicked out so the baby can take her place. If we had done it a few weeks before the baby arrived, she may have felt like that.
Reading Material

Quite a few of my friends recommended reading books with her about the idea of Mummy being pregnant and becoming a big sister. I was skeptical, finding this type of thing a bit too cheesy for my liking. And whilst that was true, she really enjoys them and it has gone from me suggesting we read them to her requesting them. The two we have are There’s A House Inside My Mummy’s Tummy by Giles Andreaea and I’m Going To Be A Big Sister by Brenda Bercun.
Daily Chats

I make sure that Tilly and I talk to and about the baby every day. When we’re doing an activity I ask if she thinks the baby will like doing it too, or which of her toys she thinks the baby will like to play with. In the evening when we’re curled up on the sofa, she likes to stroke my bump and her favourite thing of all time is to blow raspberries on my stomach believing that the baby finds it really funny.
Gender Reveal

We haven’t found out what flavour baby we’re having, and part of me thinks maybe we should have purely so we could speak to Tilly more precisely. This is even more relevant as she is adamant she only wants a baby sister. Many of my friends who didn’t find out the sex the first time, did with their second so they had time to prepare their firstborn about exactly what was on its way, and I think if you are worried about how your first is going to respond, then this is a great way of helping your child understand and bond with the baby before it arrives.
The Big Meet

I’ve read a lot of advice on what to do in the moment that the two siblings meet and the resounding advice seems to be to not hold the new baby when she comes in the room. The theory being that my daughter can discover her new partner in crime without anyone else being in the way. I’m sure this will all go out the window as it will probably coincide with feeding or nappy changing (doesn’t everything?!), but it’s always good to have a plan in place so that’s what we’re going with.
Wish me luck!

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