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Compromise is Key
Baby talk Baby talk
Compromise is Key
March 12, 2018
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Baby talk Baby talk
Compromise is Key
March 12, 2018
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Compromise. Often associated with that big leap of a long-term partnership between two people, be it marriage or otherwise. “Oh, you’re moving in together? That’s a big step, how do you feel about sharing so and so?” “Who’s doing the dishes?” or “Saturday afternoons will never be the same with his/ her love for x, y and z.”

But what about babies? I mean, without sounding overly dramatic, they might just be the biggest commitment ever. So why does no one ask similar questions: “oh you’ve got a baby moving in in seven months? That’s a big step! How do you feel about sharing, oh, your ENTIRE EXISTENCE FOREVER AND EVER?”

There’s a certain naivety, call it misplaced optimism, that comes with having your first child when you think that yes, of course your life is going to change, hopefully for the better but it’ll also get back to normal fairly quickly. You’ll see your mates just like you did before. You’ll go for that manicure/ pedicure/ wax (pahahahaha, I added that for good measure because we all know now that your poor foof ain’t getting any landscaping for a while) whenever you feel like it with a baby that will nestle into your breast, quietly marvelling at his/ her mother’s juggling act.

“So what did you have to compromise on when you became a mother?”
So what did you have to compromise on when you became a mother? I had to compromise on my idea of the perfect mother because it became pretty clear early on that I was not one. You see, in my head, I would immediately bond with this squealing monkey-like babe we’d tried desperately to conceive for two years. She’d be easy-going and sleep beautifully. I’d resemble a cross between Mary Poppins and postpartum Blake Lively, batch cooking and baking every nutritious meal. As a blessed bonus, my husband would turn into Ryan Reynolds. Side note: out of all of these ridiculous delusions, the one that causes the most humour amongst friends who know me well is the cooking and baking.

But somewhere along the way, in my desperate drive to fall pregnant, I forgot I love my job. Like really, really love my job. It defines me. Reader, it completes me. I’m good at it, and I don’t say that with a massive ego, but with a sense of pride in that I’ve worked hard to get where I am today. So when baby came along I thought I could do it all. The job, the perfect mother role, Ryan Reynolds’s wife.

Fast forward a few years and I’ve only recently started to feel like I can be all of these things without compromising who I really am. Don’t get me wrong, every day is a juggling act as I try to be everything to everyone and the reality is I couldn’t do it without a husband who covers more than his lion’s share of the parenting/ home chores. But until the day I wake up as one of People Magazine’s Top 10 hottest couples, I’m going to keep reminding myself that compromise is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re an adult, doing adult stuff for the benefit of all other adults around you, including yourself!

Bianca Presto
@heybpresto
PR Director, mother, part-time magician/ ballerina/ shopkeeper/ puppet master
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