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Good Cop, Bad Cop
Parenting Parenting
Good Cop, Bad Cop
November 7, 2017
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Parenting Parenting
Good Cop, Bad Cop
November 7, 2017
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My son has never been an overly cuddly child so I look for opportunities to gain his affection wherever I can. Honestly? I’ve used bribes – “snack for you, hug for me”- and there have been times when I’ve been one phone call away from a restraining order. “How much do you love your mummy?” I ask him. “Go away Mummy!” he replies, almost every time. And next comes the clincher, straight from his lips – “Want to see Daddy”. Ouch.

Ok I get it – Daddy’s a novelty, I’m a bore. I say no all the time, Daddy says no at weekends. During the week, the only time he sees Daddy is first thing in the morning and last thing at night – why would either of them want to ruin those precious minutes? But we will forever be in the routine of week to weekend, which means dad of the year over there will always be Good Cop, and needy, insecure mama over here will have to settle for Bad Cop. I am chief supervisor, negotiator, boring meal planner and rule-regulator – I’d ask for a break from me too if I could.  “That’s motherhood for you,” says my mum. Motherhood it may be but that doesn’t make Daddy being favour of the decade any easier.

‘Let’s face it, it can be easy for the primary carer of a toddler to fall into the Bad Cop box.’
After all, someone has to take the parenting reigns. But reality check – he’s two. I can only hope that he’s far too busy exploring this thing called life to care about who out of the two of us he saw the least today or who disciplined him the most this week. But when Bertie runs into my arms at pick-up, spontaneously lifts my hand up to kiss it and catches my eye in the rear view mirror and gets the giggles, I know that actually he is a complete fraud and that Mummy is just as important to him as Daddy.  Because for a two year old boy, as long as there’s a toy car in one hand, a snack in the other and a mummy and daddy who worship the ground you’ve just learnt to walk on, life is beautiful.

Philippa Pearne
@philippapearne
Former Beauty Editor @ Glamour UK. Freelance beauty, lifestyle and parenting journalist.
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