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The Worry Factor
Parenting Parenting
The Worry Factor
December 20, 2018
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Parenting Parenting
The Worry Factor
December 20, 2018
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During my pregnancy with our now three year old son Bertie, we experienced the usual concerns that all first time parents go through; what if our baby doesn’t progress properly? What if there are complications? And what if we don’t take to parenting very well? Standard. But even though you’re ‘meant’ to feel so much more relaxed the second time around because you’ve been through it all before, for me the worry actually cranked up a notch… Or five to be exact. After a somewhat ‘testing’ fertility journey, we were ecstatic to find out that I was pregnant again seven months ago. But my excitement was soon overtaken by a huge sense of worry, more so than the first time round. Why? Because this time, I had something to compare it to.
“For me the worry actually cranked up a notch… Or five to be exact”

You name it, I worried about it. Would my morning sickness be worse than the last pregnancy? Would I ever get time to put my feet up now that there was a three-year-old thrown in the mix? Would my labour feel worse than last time? And there was that instant 12-week-scan dread too – what if this baby’s progression isn’t as straight-forward as Bertie’s and we are given bad news at that first, vital hurdle?

As if that wasn’t enough, I also had the added worry of Bertie himself. How he would react when we told him we were having another baby, how he would cope with everyone’s attention being divided when the baby is born, and how he would feel about sharing his toys, home and, erm, parents with someone else. The list goes on. Worry number 567: How would we afford two children? (Although we now realise we couldn’t ever really afford one, but hey at least love is free right?); how would we fit two children into our little cottage and how on earth would we cope with double the tantrums, double the cooking, double the STUFF that comes with them?

“And sometimes I actually worry that I’m not worried enough. (It’s becoming an issue.)”

I get it though. During your first pregnancy, as long as everything is going smoothly, ignorance is sheer bliss. There is just one life to think about, one single occupancy pram to buy, one car seat to fit, you have no idea how much you’re really going to need to spend (oh hi new shoes every six weeks), you don’t believe that a sleepless night actually means SLEEP-LESS and no matter how much detail your friends go into, you can’t really imagine what labour actually feels like. *Shudder* This time around, I’m far too well-equipped with information, especially for the labour bit.

But whilst I don’t need a parenting genius to tell me that I need to chill the hell out, not least because otherwise all this worrying will one day be projected onto my poor children, what I am also armed with is the knowledge of all the amazing moments to come that I was also oblivious to last time. The feeling you get when you see your baby for the first time, the pride you feel when introducing him to your friends and the all-consuming love that washes over you every time he laughs or reaches a milestone. It all sounds very corny doesn’t it? But I can’t wait to feel all that again and I know that seeing Bertie with a sibling will make all this worry worth it.

“And by the way, yes my morning sickness was worse this time”

And by the way, yes my morning sickness was worse this time and no I never get time to put my feet up, but guess what? I’m dealing with it. And as each day of my pregnancy passes, it gets less worrying, more exciting.

Philippa Pearne
@philippapearne
Former Beauty Editor @ Glamour UK. Freelance beauty, lifestyle and parenting journalist.
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